The #1 Killer of Influence 01/13/2015

What makes the #1 killer of influence so insidious is the fact that for most of our lives, we are taught to seek the approval of others when we’re growing up. 

Whether it’s our parents, teachers, coaches, or other adults, getting the approval of the ones that we care about is a pretty normal desire. 

And it certainly helps with self esteem and confidence when we are young. 

So when does it become a problem? 

When we’re trying to establish our own authority and influence or persuade others. 

(I talk about this at length in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook). 

Let’s face it, if you’re the one who’s constantly going around and trying to please everyone all of the time, chances are you’re not high on the authority list of the people you work with. 

This message was brought home to me years ago when I made the mistake of answering my work phone on the weekends. 

I was not “on call’ nor was I getting paid to answer these calls (there were others on call that were getting paid). 

But at that time in my career, the need or desire to “feel important” was actually undermining any “importance” that I had established at my job. 

It got to the point that if I didn’t answer my phone over the weekends, some of my clients at that time would complain about it when I got back into the office on Monday. 

After talking about it with one of my advisors, he recommended that I quit answering the phone at all on the weekends. 

And once I did, it made the work week much more productive. 

Because once my clients realized that I was no longer at their beck and call on Saturdays and Sundays, they made much more of an effort to contact me during the regular work week. 

And if was truly an emergency, they could still get in contact with me – through the on call worker. 

So what is it that you’re doing that you think is being helpful or going the extra mile, when in fact it may be eating away at your authority? 

I’m not suggesting that you stop doing nice things for people; what I am saying is that when ‘approval seeking’ becomes your main way of interacting in the world, the world will not turn around and reward you with an ‘authority’ status. 

As a matter of fact, you’ll get just the opposite. 

Just something to think about as we head into a new year. 

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

PS: If one of your goals is to take you influence and persuasion game to the next level, then check out the Hypnotic Hacks ebook. You will learn the cutting edge strategies of what it really takes to influence and persuade people using the psychological triggers that we all respond to. Click on the link here to check it out. 

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