All posts by admin

How to change someone’s mind 01/16/2015

One of the most powerful skills you can learn is the ability to help change someone’s mind about something. 

And with regard to this, there is good news and bad news. 

The bad news is that there is no foolproof, guaranteed way to ensure that what you say or do will change somebody’s mind. 

A harsh reality maybe, but it’s the truth. 

The good news is that if you understand the psychological triggers that we are all susceptible to, and the fact that there is (almost) always an emotional component that goes into our decision making process in the first place, then you can greatly increase your chances of chipping away at someone’s decision or belief and get them to consider other ideas. 

And when I say “other ideas” I mean yours of course:) 

So how actually do you go about getting someone to change their mind about something, or to chip away at a long held belief that won’t easily change overnight? 

Before I answer that (and I will) let me mention a couple of ways how most of us (myself included) mess this up. 

1. We come across as questioning ‘the person’ and not the decision. 

What I mean by this is depending on the tone that is used and the question that is asked, we can come across as challenging the person’s intelligence in making the decision, without really meaning to do that. 

An example would be something like “So why did you do that?” 

Again tone plays a huge role in this, but whenever you ask a ‘why’ question, it can come off as challenging the person, like you’re questioning their motives. 

And many times instead of trying to objectively examine their motive, the person you’re speaking with will dig in deeper and justify even more why they made the decision that they did. 

Thus setting you back in terms of trying to get them to change their mind. 

2. We come across as “us versus them”. 

When this happens, again the person that you’re talking to is likely to dig in even deeper because they’re afraid that you’re trying to take something away from them. 

And people will fight tooth and nail when they perceive that you’re trying to take something away from them! 

So how do you go about starting the process of changing someone’s mind? 

It starts with a question. 

“John, I’m trying to understand what led up to your decision of (fill in the blank here). 

Or if it has to be an even softer approach: 

“John, I want to understand what led up to that decision. Would you mind sharing your insights with me so I can get a clearer picture of how you arrived at your decision?” 

By using the word ‘insights’ you’re giving the person credit for the fact that there was some amount of insight involved in the decision making process (even if there wasn’t). 

And a ’clearer’ picture sounds different than a ‘better’ picture. Better implies that their picture was not good enough or was lacking something. (That’s the kind of trigger, by the way, that can activate someone’s defense mechanism instantly and one that you should avoid if you can help it). 

And after asking that first question, you listen. 

Maybe even agree with some of the reasons that they had in their decision making process. 

Doing those two things will go a long way toward breaking down their process and giving you more information that you can ask questions about. 

I’ll cover more of this in tomorrow’s email about some of the follow up questions that you can ask. 

I’ll also have a story about getting someone to change their mind using what I call the “Charlie Harper” technique. 

If you want to learn how to ask questions and incorporate some of the psychological triggers that I mentioned, then I cover a lot more “types” of questions in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook. You can learn more about it here

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur King 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

The #1 Killer of Influence 01/13/2015

What makes the #1 killer of influence so insidious is the fact that for most of our lives, we are taught to seek the approval of others when we’re growing up. 

Whether it’s our parents, teachers, coaches, or other adults, getting the approval of the ones that we care about is a pretty normal desire. 

And it certainly helps with self esteem and confidence when we are young. 

So when does it become a problem? 

When we’re trying to establish our own authority and influence or persuade others. 

(I talk about this at length in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook). 

Let’s face it, if you’re the one who’s constantly going around and trying to please everyone all of the time, chances are you’re not high on the authority list of the people you work with. 

This message was brought home to me years ago when I made the mistake of answering my work phone on the weekends. 

I was not “on call’ nor was I getting paid to answer these calls (there were others on call that were getting paid). 

But at that time in my career, the need or desire to “feel important” was actually undermining any “importance” that I had established at my job. 

It got to the point that if I didn’t answer my phone over the weekends, some of my clients at that time would complain about it when I got back into the office on Monday. 

After talking about it with one of my advisors, he recommended that I quit answering the phone at all on the weekends. 

And once I did, it made the work week much more productive. 

Because once my clients realized that I was no longer at their beck and call on Saturdays and Sundays, they made much more of an effort to contact me during the regular work week. 

And if was truly an emergency, they could still get in contact with me – through the on call worker. 

So what is it that you’re doing that you think is being helpful or going the extra mile, when in fact it may be eating away at your authority? 

I’m not suggesting that you stop doing nice things for people; what I am saying is that when ‘approval seeking’ becomes your main way of interacting in the world, the world will not turn around and reward you with an ‘authority’ status. 

As a matter of fact, you’ll get just the opposite. 

Just something to think about as we head into a new year. 

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

PS: If one of your goals is to take you influence and persuasion game to the next level, then check out the Hypnotic Hacks ebook. You will learn the cutting edge strategies of what it really takes to influence and persuade people using the psychological triggers that we all respond to. Click on the link here to check it out. 

Beware these 10 words 01/12/2015

Hey There, 

Today I want to talk about influence and persuasion and some of the words that get this job done. 

But before I start- a word of warning. 

These words are neither good nor bad- it’s the context that will give them meaning. 

What do I mean by that? 

Some people might read this list of words and decide that they are all manipulative – that there is an underlying meaning to them that slips past the conscious mind and goes to work on the reader’s (or listener’s) subconscious. 

And that very well may be true. 

But I would argue that it is the intent of the speaker (or writer) that determines whether they are manipulative or not. 

If you’re trying to convince someone of a win-lose deal, then your intent probably falls into the manipulative side. 

If you’re trying to influence or persuade someone into a win – win agreement, then the words don’t seem quite so sneaky. 

So without further adieu, here is the list of words that I’m referring to: 

clearly 
obviously 
evidently 
undoubtedly 
surely 
without a doubt 
of course 
as a matter of fact 
in fact 

Now this list is by no means exhaustive as I am sure there are other words that fall into this category, but the list is a a good start. 

So what’s up with these particular words? 

Well, if you examine them, they all have sort of the same meaning, but there’s also another meaning to them. 

For example, when I use the word “obviously” it has the usual meaning. 

But the underlying meaning can also influence you without you being aware of it if you’re not careful. 

Because when someone uses the word “obviously” they want you thinking that whatever they say next is the clear and logical thing for you to agree with or to do. 

And it may not be all that clear or logical. 

So for example, let’s say that you’r looking for a new car for yourself and you go to a used car lot to see what they have there. 

And in talking with the salesperson they say something like “Obviously you’ve made a good choice in coming to the lot because we have the cheapest and largest selection of cars in the entire state.” 

Now if you don’t stop to think about it, you may actually believe that this particular lot has the cheapest and largest selection of cars in the state. 

But do you know that for a fact? 

You could certainly check it out by comparing the places in your area – but do you see how it kind of just flows with the sentence when you use the word “obviously” in front of it? 

And who’s to say whether it was a good decision or not to visit that particular car lot today? 

From the salesperson’s point of view it was a good decision on your part because the more time that you spend on the lot the more likely you are to purchase a car. 

But if you’re purchasing a car that’s going to break down as soon as you drive it off of the lot, or if you’re going to be paying for the car with a 15 year loan at 20%, then the decision to have visited the lot would not have been such a good one. 

See what I mean? 

So the point of all of this is to be aware of these kinds of words that are designed to have you not question what follow the words, and then question them. 

Is what you’re saying to me really obvious, or are you trying to unduly influence me with something that you want to happen? 

You’ll be surprised at how “unobvious” some things are when you begin to question them. 

These are just some of the strategies that I cover in the HypnoticHacks ebook. So if you’re interested in these kind of techniques or “hacks”, then go here to learn more. 

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

The one fatal mistake she made … 01/09/2015

Hey There, 

I wanted to tell you a quick story today about how we (as humans) are all susceptible to the same psychological triggers. 

A few years ago I was called to the witness stand in a court proceeding to give testimony. 

As it so happened, in the middle of my testimony the judge realized that it was right in the middle of lunch time, and so right before I was cross examined, we broke for lunch. 

With the very specific instruction that we return by 1:30 pm to resume.

Now, if you’ve never been cross examined before on a witness stand, it’s not a pleasant experience. 

Basically the cross examining lawyer tries to discredit you to make you look bad and enhance their argument. 

I was not looking forward to it. 

I already had one go round with this particular lawyer and knew for a fact that she would try to make me look bad. 

So after lunch I steeled myself, put my professional game face on, and got back on the witness stand. 

But the opposing attorney made a fatal mistake. 

Before I tell you what it was, let me tell you what occurred earlier in the proceeding. 

The opposing lawyer made a ton of objections. 

Some of them with merit, and some that made her look like she didn’t know what she was talking about. 

She wanted to reintroduce evidence that had already been examined. 

The judge didn’t want to hear it or see it again, noting that she was already aware of the evidence and had admitted it. 

The opposing lawyer then wanted to reinterview witnesses, and the judge warned her that there had better be some new evidence uncovered, otherwise the lawyer would be wasting the court’s time. 

So she reinterviewed witnesses, and there was no new evidence to present. 

That’s where we left off before I took the stand again after lunch. 

And here’s where the fatal mistake came into play. 

The opposing lawyer was … late coming back to lunch. 

The judge was on the bench at 1:30

The lawyers who had called me to the stand were waiting for the cross to start. 

Everybody was waiting for the proceeding to get started. 

And it didn’t happen. 

At 1:45 the opposing lawyer came in with her entourage. 

She barely apologized to the judge. 

The judge (in no uncertain terms) told her “don’t ever come late” to her court room again. 

Needless to say, the judge was not in a good mood. 

And here is the whole point of the story. 

The opposing lawyer’s objective was to try to get the judge to be sympathetic to the lawyer’s argument. 

Given what had just occurred, how successful do you think she was? 

If you’re thinking “not at all” then you’re absolutely right. 

The judge sided with the other lawyers- the evidence was overwhelming. 

My point is that the mood people are in when you are talking to them plays a huge role in how receptive they are to your ideas and suggestions. 

So,if you are about to ask your boss for a raise and you find out that his wife left earlier that morning, he had a flat tire on the way in to work, and the company is going through a round of layoffs and he’s not sure if he’ll be around or not, you may want to ask about your raise some other time. 

And what is it exactly that helps to change those brain chemicals in someone’s mind to make them feel like they’re in a good mood? 

One answer (there’s more) is helping them to feel understood. 

This is particularly important if you have to help them change from a bad mood into a good mood. 

In the Hypnotic Hacks ebook I talk about this in the “beyond rapport” hack. 

How to ask questions of someone so that they feel understood- that you’re 100% listening to them. 

And then ask other quesitons to let them know that you understand them, and they feel that you understand them. 

Once the endorphins are released, then you can think about influencing or persuading them. 

But not before. 

To learn more about how to do this, go here to read more about how to go “beyond rapport”. 

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

What’s the one ingredient … 01/03/2015

Hey There, 

Want to become a master storyteller and get people to drop what they’re doing to hang on every word that you say? 

Yeah? So tell me this: what is the one element in a story that must be present in order to inspire someone take action? 

A good plot? 

While this is helpful, it’s not as crucial as what I’m talking about. 

Well developed characters? 

Again, well developed characters certainly keep the story interesting and keep the story entertaining, but it’s not necessarily what’s needed to get people to take action. 

What is it that really gets people to sit up and take notice of what you’re saying in your story? 

Emotions! 

Your story has to appeal to the listener’s emotions in order to have a chance at influencing or persuading them. 

Without emotion, the story just falls flat regardless of the plot or the character development. 

Don’t believe me? 

The why do we root for the hero in the story? 

Usually because he (or she) is trying to right some injustice that’s been done – usually an injustice that stirs deep feelings about what’s right or wrong. 

Want to see the underdog succeed? Then you probably have an idea of the hardships that they’ve gone through and the crap that they’ve put up with to get their chance to succeed. 

So when you’re telling a story (whether your personal story or not) make sure that you’re bringing out the emotions in the story that you listener can identify with. 

That’s how you get people to get up and take action. 

By the way, using emotion in any goals that you have can also inspire you to take action yourself. 

What’s more inspiring: losing weight because your doctor tells you that you need to drop 20 -30 lbs., or having your young son or daughter tell you that they want you to be around for a long time so that they can spend as much time with you as they can? 

Big difference. 

So if you’re making goals for yourself for the year, make sure that you are connecting to the emotions that come up for you and take action. 

And then make sure you are including emotions in your stories as well and watch as people not only remember but do what you suggest in the story! 

If you want to learn more about storytelling and how to tell them in a way that move the listener to action, check out the Hypnotic Hacksebook now. You can do so here

Until ext time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

Denzel Washington blew it … 12/31/2014

OK, it probably wasn’t Denzel’s fault totally. 

I guess I blame the writers more than anyone else. 

You see, I just spent about 2 hours watching one of Denzel’s recent movies. 

It had all of the makings of a block buster! 

Drama, intrigue, lots of fight scenes and even some good explosions! (Hey- I didn’t want to think too much- I just wanted to be entertained)!

But there was one crucial thing that the writers forgot to include that made the movie (in my mind ) tank. 

And if you want to get good at storytelling, this is one element that is crucial to making your story believable and having people relate to your story. 

So what was the element that was missing for me? 

In the story there was no “fatal flaw” or obstacle that Denzel’s character had to overcome to make the character seem more “human” or believable. 

And because of this the movie took on more of a surreal quality, a quality that I’m not sure that the producers were going for. 

As a viewer, I wanted to root for the hero and see him overcome impossible odds to achieve his mission, but by the time the big fight scene happened, I just wasn’t feeling it for the character. 

And it can all be traced back to that missing step in the storytelling plot. 

So the lesson here is that if you want people to be on your side, to root for you and want to see you succeed, they have to know about the demons that you’ve overcome to appreciate your successes. 

That’s just my two cents. 

But there are tried and true elements of storytelling that must be included when you’re trying to move people to take action or to influence and persuade them to do something that you want. 

Some of these elements are obvious and some not so much. But I cover a lot of them in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook

As a matter of fact storytelling is one of the most powerful ways to subtlety influence and persuade someone that you can have in your arsenal. 

So if you’re ready to take your storytelling to the next level, check out the Hypnotic Hacks ebook today. 

Until next time, have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

Are You Greedy Like This? 12/30/2014

I recently found myself in the shopping mall. It was just after a big holiday so I thought my wife was crazy for suggesting that we go.

Unfortunately for me all three of the kids had gift cards to one store or another in the mall.

So off we went.

My youngest son has a hard time saving any of his money, or gift cards, and so he was the one most interested in shopping.

Here’s what was motivating him though. He went over to a friend’s house to play and noticed that she had a particular toy that he didn’t have.

And because he didn’t have it, it was all that he could focus on.

Even despite all of the toys that he received for Christmas (and there were a lot), he wanted this one particular toy.

My wife warned him that it was the type of toy that he would play with for a week and then forget about.

That only made him want it even more.

It got me to thinking – there is definitely something about not being able to get something that makes us want it even more.

And it’s not just a kid thing.

It’s definitely an adult thing too.

It’s just that the toys get bigger and more expensive when you’re an adult, but the desire is still there.

Certainly big businesses have learned this. When you limit the supply, the demand goes up, and when there is plenty of supply there is little demand.

Economics 101.

So how is this principle used when it comes to influencing and persuading people?

In some instances you can limit your time. What do I mean?

If you put a deadline on your offer or suggestion, this can have a focusing effect on people.

They perceive that if there is a limited time to get or obtain something, then there is some inherent value in it.

It may be seem more valuable than the exact same thing that doesn’t have a time limit on it.

Here are a couple of examples of what I mean:

1) Want to get a breakfast sandwich at McDonald’s? Get there before10:30 am otherwise you’ll be eating lunch instead.

2) Need to talk to a help desk about a computer problem? If the help desk hours for live support are from 10:00 am to 12:00 pm on MWF, then you’d better schedule your time around their’s if you want the live help.

3) Any “sale” that has a time limit on it can be effective, particularly if the time is limited as well as the quantity of the item for sale.

so here’s a question for you: what can you do to put a limit on your resources so that they appear more valuable?

Hit reply and let me know. If there are a lot of great answers then I’ll share with everybody.

And if you want to learn other strategies on how to get people to take action on your ideas or suggestions, check out the Hypnotic Hacksebook. You can find a description about it here.

Until next time, have a great day!

Arthur
arthur@hypnotichacks.com

 

Would Tuesday or Thursday be better for you?

Hey There 

Have you ever met a salesperson who is “on you” as soon as you set foot in their store? 

They don’t even give you a chance to breathe. And they just sort of “throw up” all over you without even giving you a chance to answer their questions. 

One of the keys to influence and persuade people is knowing how to establish trust and control at the same time. 

And it doesn’t matter if you’re a salesperson or not- this applies to human beings in general, so whether you’re talking to a co worker, a loved one, a family member- the principles hold up regardless. 

So if you’re trying to convince someone to do something for you, see how you can give them some control in the decision making process. 

Here’s an example that you might be familiar with. 

Have you ever had someone try to nail you down for a time to meet, and they say something like “Would Tuesday or Thursday at 2:00 pm be better for you?” 

Of course the assumption is that you want to meet with them in the first place. That’s why instead of asking you “Would you like to meet” they assume the meeting and rather focus on giving you a “choice” of what day you’d like to meet, instead of “if” you’d like to meet. 

They’re giving you the perception of a choice when in reality they are trying to force your hand into choosing when you’d like to meet. 

That’s why going in the opposite direction can work so well at times. So instead of saying “Would you like to meet on Tuesday or Thursday?” you could say something like this: 

“Listen, to be perfectly honest I’m not even sure if what I have is something that you are interested in. Why don’t you tell me what you’re looking for and I’ll let you know if I think I can help you.” 

In this instance, you are giving a lot of the control of the conversation to the listener. You’re allowing them to speak and listening to what they say, to see if there is a match of what they want to what you have to offer. 

It’s different than what 95% of average people do when they’re trying to influence and persuade people. 

In the Hypnotic Hacks ebook I cover this strategy and a bunch of others in terms of identifying the triggers that people respond to and using them in regular every day conversations. 

If you haven’t checked out some of the other topics that are covered in the ebook, then go here and check them out. 

Until next time have a great day! 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

What Harry Potter knew about persuasion 12/28/2014

I had the opportunity to watch one of the Harry Potter movies the other night with my kids.

To be honest I think that we had all seen it before, but it had been so long that it seemed interesting again.

In this particular movie Harry was given the task of trying to get close to a teacher at Hogwarts to get some information that Dumbledor was desperate to know.

As it so happens Harry was also in possession of an elixir of sorts that was supposed to give him good luck for a day.

Here’s what I found interesting:

Harry took the potion and as it turns out he ended up in the company of the professor he was supposed to get the information from.

But here’s the cool part, the part that mimics real life.

Harry got the information from the professor because Harry first disclosed to the professor something personal about himself.

And because of this, the professor felt obliged to reciprocate and give Harry the information that he wanted.

I’ve seen this happen time and time again played out in real life.

Maybe it’s when the sales person says about their product or service something like this:

“Look, this ‘widget’ (whatever product or service you have) is not perfect. As a matter of fact it only comes in a choice of three colors, so it’s very limited in that sense. But I can tell you that it’s constructed extremely well and I guarantee that you will have it for at least 5 years before you ever have to replace a part.”

By having someone admit some “inside” information about the product or service, they actually build trust and make themselves appear more human.

And who doesn’t want to work with someone who seems more like us?

Same idea when maybe your boss or someone higher up in the company who you admire admits one of their shortcomings to you. If you’ve sort of placed them on a pedestal because of their accomplishments, they when they admit to you that they don’t think they do a very good job at (fill in the blank here), again they appear even more human.

It’s a fantastic way to build trust and rapport with somebody.

I cover at least 2 more strategies in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook about trust and rapport building. If building trust and rapport quickly is something that interests you, then check out the ebook here.

You can learn these hacks and implement them within 30 minutes if you’re motivated.

Until next time have a great day!

Arthur
arthur@hypnotichacks.com

PS: Although having a “magic elixir” that would make you super persuasive and influential would be great to have, the next best thing would be to know the triggers or ‘hacks’ that most people find irresistible. When you check out the Hypnotic Hacks page you’ll see all 5 of the powerful hacks designed to get people to say yes to your ideas and suggestions even if they’ve never listened to you before. Check it out here.

 

What can a baboon from the Kalamari desert teach you … 12/26/2014

Hey There, 

Have you ever seen the National Geographic show where a hunter in Africa uses a baboon to find water? 

It’s fascinating! 

I actually think that you can find a short video about it on youtube if you’re really interested. 

Anyway here’s what happens. 

When a hunter goes on a hunting trip that can take a couple of days, one of the most important things that he has to do is to find water when he’s in the desert. 

The program that I saw showed an African hunter who had come across a group of baboons. 

There was no obvious watering hole around so I guess he figured that these baboons had a secret watering hole. 

So he captured one of the baboons. 

How? 

He went over to this giant ant hill – we’re talking 15 feet high- and dug a hole in the side of it. 

He then took out some wild melon seeds and put them in the hole. 

All this was done while one particular baboon was watching his every move. 

He then waited. 

Apparently Baboons are incredibly curious creatures. 

So without being able to resist the temptation, the baboon that had been watching went over to the hole and reached in and grabbed the seeds. 

But when the baboon closed his hand with the seeds in it, he couldn’t pull his hand back out of the hole. 

That’s when the bushman sprung into action and put a rope around the baboons neck (like a leash). 

He then went over to a tree and tied the baboon to a tree. 

And then gave the baboon a treat. 

Guess what the treat was? 

Little blocks of salt. 

The baboon gobbled them down. 

The bushman left him there for hours- maybe even overnight. 

The following day the bushman came back. 

He was trying to determine how thirsty the baboon was. 

When the bushman decided that the baboon was thirsty enough, he took the leash off and the baboon took off. 

And the bushman ran after him. 

Right to one of the most beautiful watering holes that you’ll ever see. 

Water problem solved. 

Now, here’s something to think about. What got the baboon into trouble was the fact that he was holding onto something that wasn’t helping him at all. 

And it occurred to me that in working with the clients that I do, this is an all too common problem. 

They’re holding onto something – usually an idea about how to influence and persuade people- that they just can’t let go of. 

It could be because the idea that they’re holding onto worked for them once, and now they try to make it work for every situation that they encounter. 

And when it doesn’t work, they blame the person they were trying to persuade, or some other outside “force”. 

But let’s face it- when it comes to persuading or influencing, there is no one size fits all. 

That’s why I started with 5 hypnotic hacks, to give you a good baseline of techniques to pull from when you were trying to hypnotize, influence and persuade anyone. 

So if you’re ready to check out 5 of the most powerful ways to get people to take action and follow your suggestions, go towww.hypnotichacks.com and learn more about what the hypnotichacks entail. 

Or you can click here and the link will take you to the website. 

In either case, the sooner that you can start to expand your repertoire of psychological triggers or ‘hacks’, the sooner you’ll be able to master them and dramatically increase your ability to hypnotize, influence and persuade anyone. 

Until then have a great day and I’ll write again soon. 

Arthur 
arthur@hypnotichacks.com 

PS: What’s worse than maintaining the status quo and not improving your ability to hypnotize, influence and persuade others? It’s holding on to one idea and trying to force that same idea onto every situation. With the Hypnotic Hacks ebook you’ll have access to 5 of the most powerful ways to dramatically get others to do what you suggest. Check it out here