As you probably know by now if you’ve been reading my emails, I’m a big believer in story telling to get your point across. A question that I get asked a lot is
“How long (or short) does a story have to be to be impactful?”
To answer this question let me tell you about a commercial I saw recently on TV.
The commercial was a request to contribute to your local blood bank and it went something like this:
(Video of a mom talking)
“We took my son to the Emergency Room when we thought something was wrong. We discovered that he had this condition which affected his heart. By the time he was 8 he had 107 blood transfusions.
(Video of an 8 year old sitting in a rocking chair reading a book).
“Thank you to all of you who give blood. Without your generosity my son would not be alive right now.”
(Narrator’s voice) “Give blood to your local blood bank.”
End of commercial.
That’s about 56 words of dialogue not counting the narrator’s voice.
The story is especially impactful if you are a parent, because as parents we would do anything to protect our children.
Now, the commercial could have come out and listed all of the reasons why it makes sense to give blood:
how it helps your community
how it’s the right thing to do
how important a service it provides
how it may help you or your loved ones some day
But the reality is that even though all of these logical reasons are great, they don’t have nearly the impact that a simple story does about a mother and her son.
So if you’re trying to persuade or influence someone to do something, instead of beating them over the head with logic, try putting whatever you’re asking into a story.
Include the emotion in the story as well.
And see what a difference telling a well constructed makes when you’re trying to get someone to take action.
There’s an entire chapter dedicated to hypnotic storytelling in theHypnotic Hacks ebook. If you haven’t checked it out then go to this link to see what all of the fuss is about.
Until next time, have a great day!
First of all, thank you to all of those who responded to my last email. I received a lot more requests than I thought I would, so as a result of that in today’s email I will talk about the ‘remind me’ technique.
At first glance, this may seem very simplistic, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that this will not work.
If you follow some common sense guidelines, this is easy to pull and can be very effective in going from the one chasing to the one being chased.
The best way to describe this is by way of a short story.
John was a small business owner in need of a loan from his bank. He didn’t want to appear needy so he came up with this idea to get the attention of the loan officer of the bank.
Every Friday when John would come into the bank to make his weekly deposit, he would pass by the loan officer’s door. One day after making his usual deposit, on his way out of the bank he passed by the loan officer’s office and said to him:
“Hi Mr. Smith. I don’t have time to get into it right now, but the next time I’m in remind me to ask you about a small business loan.”
And with that he left.
The next week John came in again and made his deposit. Again he walked past the loan officer’s door and said,
“Good afternoon Mr. Smith. The next time I come in I want to ask you a question about a loan.”
And with that he was off.
The following week John walked in again and as he finished his bank transaction and began to walk out of the bank, Mr. Smith came out of his office and said to him,
“John, when are we going to sit down and talk about that loan?”
And just like that, John stopped chasing the loan officer and had the officer come to him.
Now when you do this there are a couple of things to keep in mind.
If you can make the “thing” that you’re going to talk about mutually beneficial, that’s obviously a step in the right direction.
Also, you can sometimes be a little vague about what it is that you want to talk about, and the curiosity will drive the desire of the other person to seek you out.
In the example above, there is also a bit of anchoring going on. In other words John created the association of “Loan” every time he spoke to the officer, to the point that when John stopped mentioning it, the loan officer took over the idea and began bringing it up himself.
That’s also a great way to subconsciously plant an idea into someone else’s head.
Manipulative – yes.
Another name for this is an “open loop”.
It’s where you start a story or explanation but purposely don’t complete it.
The idea behind it is that if the story that you mention is something that I am interested in, then I will want to “close the loop” or learn how the story ends.
It’s that need in us (human beings) to seek out resolution.
I’m not sure if I’m the only one this happens to but I can’t tell you the number of times I’ll start watching a movie on TV that’s half way over, only to have to stay and watch the entire ending even when I’ve seen it before.
It’s that need to see things complete that drives us.
Anyway I hope that this was helpful.
These are the ideas that I discuss in greater detail in the HypnoticHacks ebook. If you haven’t checked it out yet you can do so here.
Until next time have a great day!
PS: If you’re interested in learning the hypnotic “hacks” designed to get people to say yes to your ideas and suggestions (even if they’ve never listened to you before), then check out the Hypnotic Hacksebook.
OK, so in the last email I talked about one of the steps in becoming an authority, and that was to stop chasing someone or something and focus on becoming the one that others chase.
I also talked about how to use a certain type of question to change the relationship with someone so that you are the one being chased.
One subscriber, Marius, wrote to me and basically asked “Of all the hypnosis/persuasion web sites out there, why should I continue to stay on your list?” (I paraphrased a little there).
I love it!
Marius gets it.
Now, if it were a serious question – i.e. Marius was seriously asking why should he/she or anybody remain on my list, how do you think I should answer?
Should I list all of the great benefits of staying on my list in the hope that Marius won’t unsubscribe?
Should I mention all of the valuable content that’s coming in the future that Marius will miss out on if he unsubscribes?
Should I do my best to persuade him (or anyone for that matter) to please please please remain on the list?
The truth is that I could do all of these things, but based on what you now know about positioning, what do you think is the best way for me to respond to a scenario like this?
(Hint: without sounding needy?)
How about this:
“Marius, (just using you as an example Marius- not picking on you) you are absolutely right. There are tons of hypnosis and persuasion sites out there that you can visit at any time. As a matter of fact I can even recommend some if you’re really looking. Now the fact that you bring up the idea of not staying on my list leads me to believe that maybe this is not the best fit for you and what you’re looking for, so before I go any further can you give me three reasons why I should keep you on the list?”
So instead of me having to justify why Marius should stay on my list, I use the lesson from the previous email to put the responsibility back on Marius to justify why I should keep him on the list.
Why am I telling you this?
A) Because I don’t want you to be intimidated when someone who thinks they’re in a position of authority starts asking you questions and tries to keep you in the inferior position.
And B) I want you to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate you so that you can turn it right back around on them (if you choose to).
Alrighty – this email is starting to get a little long so let me finish up there.
I did mention in the previous email that I would go over another technique to keep you from being the chaser to the one being chased.
Tell you what. If I get 10 people to reply to this email with the words “remind me” I’ll send out the email tomorrow with that technique in it.
Until next time, have a great day!
PS: If the idea of asking authoritative questions and psychologically turning the tables on someone interests you then I cover a lot more of this in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook. You can check it out here.
One of the most powerful ways of influencing and persuading people is from a position of authority.
If you are the authority, then it’s a given that you know what you’re talking about and that people listen to you.
But how do you go about becoming an authority?
There are a couple of steps involved, but the first and most important step is not chasing anyone.
When you chase someone (or something) it automatically puts you in an inferior position.
A position of weakness.
Nothing will kill your positioning faster than being needy.
Trying to meet that attractive person across the bar?
Act needy and see how fast they take off.
Trying to close a business deal?
Act like you desperately need their business and you’ll walk out without a deal or a check.
Applying for a new job or new position in your company?
Act like it’s the last job on earth and your resume goes right to the bottom of the pile.
When we act desperately we give off a needy vibe and people pick up on this.
Many times it’s not even conscious.
And needy people don’t inspire confidence or respect.
They inspire … well … neediness.
And nobody wants to take on a needy boyfriend or girlfriend, or employee, or business partner.
so how do you shift this attitude around so that you do not appear needy?
You realize that you always have other options.
So when looking at that attractive person from across the room, you realize that he or she is just one out of many that could approach.
That takes some of the pressure off. And it’s also usually true, unless you live in a village where there’s only one member of the opposite sex.
Interviewing for a new job? Don’t forget to ask what else they have to offer besides a great benefits package, or a good salary, or their health insurance plan.
The attitude that you want to have (without sounding cocky) is this: ” of all the places that I could choose to work, tell me why I should choose your company over company B or C?”
You want them to qualify to you to some degree why you should consider them.
There’s another technique that will help to level the playing field in terms of appearing as an authority.
Remind me and I’ll talk about it in a future email.
By the way, if you like the ideas contained in this email, you can get a lot more of them in the Hypnotic Hacks ebook.
I go into detail about what it really takes to influence and persuade people. you can check out more about it here.
Until next time, have a great day!
A while back, the psychologist BF Skinner did a weird experiment…
Skinner bought a pigeon.
Every 15 seconds, he dropped a juicy food pellet in the bird’s cage.
The bird had no control.
A new pellet dropped every 15 seconds, no matter what.
Here’s where it gets interesting:
After a few minutes, this lil’ bird started doing some INSANE dances.
He turned in circles, tapped his feet, and tilted his head like a drunk hippie at Woodstock.
Turns out, the pigeon had developed a ritual.
Skinner theorized that Mr. Pigeon recalled what actions it did just before a food pellet dropped…and repeated those actions.
In the pigeon’s mind, its dance was causing the food to drop.
But you know what?
Most people are the exact same when it comes to hypnotizing, influencing and persuading people.
They listen to the latest pop psychologist, try to force their view on people, or scream louder and longer than the next person, hoping that will work.
Sure…it may work one out of one thousand times.
Problem is, they don’t really know why.
They can’t solve for X:
X = aligning their desires to the listener’s desires
If they could, they’d be able to “turn the dials” to near instant persuasion as fast as possible.
That’s where the Hypnotic Hacks ebook comes in.
When you invest in the ebook, you’ll discover exactly what does and doesn’t make a difference in truly influencing someone.
You’ll obtain persuasive power and influence like a boss and have fun doing it.
You don’t have to guess what works.
Take control of your ability to hypnotize, influence and persuade anyone right now:
Go check out the Hypnotic Hacks ebook now and start using these skills today!
Until next time, have a great day!
PS: Don’t be one of those dancing pigeons that does something but has no idea why it works. Discover what it really takes to get people to do what you suggest by clicking on the link here.
OK, so in yesterday’s email I promised that I would answer a specific question:
How to use the idea of “confirmation bias” to make it easier to hypnotize, influence and persuade people. (If you haven’t read yesterday’s email go check it out now for this email to make sense).
To quickly review the email yesterday, I mentioned that confirmation bias is the tendency in all of us to look for evidence that supported our beliefs; that we are in fact more susceptible to a favorable interpretation of some evidence based on those ideas we hold dear to us, or that we are committed to.
So how can this be used to improve your ability to hypnotize, influence or persuade people?
Well, if you can find out what your listener’s beliefs or ideals are, you can use that information as a stepping stone to introduce something that you want the listener to do.
And depending on the question you ask them, you can even suggest that something may be a belief or ideal of theirs even if it is not.
Let me give you an example.
Do you consider yourself the type of person that is open to listening to new ideas about how to influence and persuade people?
Now be careful when you answer that question. First of all, it’s a loaded question. In other words, when I asked if you are the type of person that is “open” I’m sort of
pushing you to answer “yes” even if you’ve never thought about the question before.
Because how many people like to think of themselves as being “closed”?
Not very many.
The other thing to be aware of is that I’m also (with this question) implying that maybe part of your identity (if you answered yes to the question) is “someone who is open to new ideas about how to influence and persuade people.”
Because now when I ask you to buy the latest course on how to influence and persuade people, you’re going to be “primed” toward buying it.
Because you’ve already identified yourself as someone who is interested in listening to new ideas about how to influence and persuade people.
So to turn around and “act” like you’re not open to new ideas would go against what you’ve just admitted to yourself.
It’s kind of like you’re “forcing” confirmation bias on someone just by asking them a simple question.
Here’s another example. This one comes from a book by Anthony Cialdini entitled: Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion.
Here’s one experiment that Dr. Cialdini talks about in his book.
He talks about an experiment where a researcher , posing as a volunteer worker, went door to door in a California neighborhood making a preposterous request.
He asked the homeowners if they would allow a public service billboard to be installed on their front lawns.The billboards were huge and basically blocked the view of the house.
Normally a request like this is refused by the majority of people (83% of the other residents in the area), but with this particular group a full 76% offered the use of their front yard.
So why did 76% of the homeowners agree to have this huge, unattractive billboard in the front yard?
Because 2 weeks earlier, another volunteer had come to their doors and asked them to accept and display a little 3 inch square sign that read be a safe driver.
Dr. Cialdini explained that the effects of this simple request were enormous. Because they had complied with the innocent request, they had become remarkably willing to comply with another request that was massive in size.
Dr. Cialdini went on to explain that it was the homeowners need to remain consistent that led them to agreeing to have the bigger billboard in the front yard after they had displayed the smaller sign in their window.
Another explanation is that when asked about whether they would display the bigger billboard, they had already thought of themselves as “civic minded” due to their participation in displaying the smaller sign.
So one way of using the idea of confirmation bias to your favor is to find out what the beliefs and ideals are of the person you’re trying to influence and then ask them to do something similar.
You could also ask if they are “open” to doing something or being something, and then follow up with a similar question that would ask more of what they are.
I talk about the different types of questions that you can ask in theHypnotic Hacks ebook. The key is to start with a small question and then work up from there.
Until next time, have a great day!
Do you know that you do this?
If you don’t then you’re not alone. Because all of us do it to some degree.
And it can make hypnotizing, influencing and persuading people more difficult (or way easier)!
What am I talking about?
So what is confirmation bias?
It’s the tendency in all of us to search for and interpret information that confirms our perceptions.
In other words, we give more weight to information that aligns with our beliefs and biases, regardless of whether (in reality) it actually relates to those beliefs or not.
Let me give you an example.
My wife believes that bad things happen in 3’s. Particularly with regard to death.
So if she hears about an older distant relative that passes away, she goes into full blown alert.
The alert stops only when she hears about two more people dying. They don’t even necessarily have to be relatives or close friends, as long as they are people that she knows or has heard of. Like a friend of a friend of a friend.
She searches for information until she knows that there have been three deaths, and then she can relax. Until it starts all over again.
Suppose that you support a certain political figure, and you learn that they have been accused of something inappropriate- lying, cheating, stealing, etc.
If this is truly someone that you have supported, then you may have a different interpretation of the “evidence”.
Did they get caught cheating on their spouse with someone else? Then maybe they were set up by their opponent.
Were they accused of obtaining money for their campaign illegally? Then there must have been an accounting error.
Were they quoted on TV or in the newspaper saying one thing, and then denied saying it? Then clearly their words must have been misinterpreted by the media.
If you want to see an experiment regarding confirmation bias that will blow your mind, then check out this video here. (It’s about 8 minutes long and there’s nothing for sale at the end).
So how does knowing about confirmation bias hinder your chances of influencing or persuading someone?
Well, if what you are suggesting is in direct opposition to what your listener believes, then you are going to have an uphill battle in terms of influencing or persuading them.
On the other hand, knowing what you now know about confirmation bias, how would you use this to enhance your ability to hypnotize, influence or persuade people?
Tune in for tomorrow’s email and I will cover this question specifically:)
Until then have a great day!
PS: In the Hypnotic Hacks ebook I cover 5 specific ways to hypnotize, influence and persuade people to do what you suggest, and there’s an entire section on how to find out anyone’s core beliefs and then use that information to get them to do what you want. If you’d like to learn more then check out the Hypnotic Hacks video here.
This is probably one of my all time favorite quotes.
I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but it goes like this:
“He that is good with a hammer tends to see everything as a nail.”
This is attributed to Abraham Maslow, a groundbreaking American psychologist.
And what this quote means to me is to not overly focus on one way of doing something, especially if you ( or I) are particularly good at it.
This is especially true when trying to hypnotize, influence and persuade people.
Many times I’ll watch someone try to convince someone else of something, only to watch them crash and burn.
It’s not pretty.
And many times this can be attributed to not meeting someone where they are at.
Let me give you an example.
Let’s say that you’re helping a friend look for a new job. And so you get a great lead and actually set up an interview for them.
You find out the next week that they didn’t even show up for the interview.
You thought they were serious about getting a new job and took the step of finding them an interview, but they … weren’t.
Maybe they were ready to send out some resumes, or make some phone calls, or talk to their friends, etc.
But they weren’t ready to sit down face to face with someone and actually interview for a new job.
You were at step C, but they were only on step A.
Two different pages.
How do you avoid this?
Ask (what may seem like) obvious questions.
For example, you could ask your friend “When you say you’re looking for a new job, what does that mean to you?”
That way you can zero in on exactly what they mean.
There’s a story that I heard years ago about a man going up to one of the Disneyworld employees and asking “What time does the 3:00pm parade start?”
On the surface it may seem like a really dumb question.
3:00 pm of course.
But the Disney customer experience is priority number one for the company, so the Disney employee took the question seriously, and looked beyond the words of the customer to the actual meaning that the customer was trying to express.
What the customer really wanted to know was not what time the parade started (which is what he asked) but what time the 3:00 pm parade would pass by the location where the customer was so that he and his family could get a good spot to watch the parade.
But if you’re willing to take the extra time to see beyond the words and try to understand what someone actually means when they ask you a question or make a statement, it will go a long way towards building a relationship.
Which always increases your ability to hypnotize, influence and persuade anyone.
If you’d like to improve your ability to ask better questions, or establish rapport quickly with someone, or even create an environment where people open up to you easily and effortlessly, then check out theHypnotic Hacks ebook.
I Cover all of these things and more and discuss some of the best ways to hypnotize, influence and persuade people without coming across as obnoxious or overbearing. You can look at short video that I made here.
Until next time, have a great day!